
Ya Sai friends , I pray for your well being . I have been feeling like a new version of me lately . I am dealing with memories of past conditioning and experiences over the years ..and trying to decode them . I can just try ..rest happens with his grace.😇
Self love leads you to more self love
When you step on a path towards self love , you won’t be able to answer why ? But every single decision you take after that becomes automatically resonated towards self love.
Its not that a new path will always be rose petals only .. there will be thorns also but you will realise ,you have a choice to step on those thorns or just enjoy the petals.
What I mean to say , will be more clear after reading upcoming paragraphs. I shared the last post about my choice of “myself” over a friend with whom I felt we are not at the same level and can not be until one of us gets insane. So , letting her go gracefully was the decision I made which seemed too hard to make . It took me almost 20 days of thinking and analysing that its the ultimate option I have .
I wanted to be the perfect angel for someone in need but this is the tricky test of universe .. you will feel a dilemma in between neglecting what you feel is good for you (prioritising others) and prioritising yourself. Don’t we keep doing this to feel “belonged” and “accepted” ! Have you ever feel that choosing yourself is soo soo hard that it feels like a crime . You imagine all the things that can happen .. you feel the sadness and the tears of others also , but it has to be “me” this time with no regrets.
Its the same when we give the power of making us happy and sad in hand of others . To do this with a few people in our lives is inevitable but you can avoid attaching to each person you meet. As baba says :
CONNECT DON’T ATTACH
“He will take away everything and everyone who makes you feel you are not enough alone”
In continuation of these lines , my husband might be staying away from me. in recent future. This came to me like a sad surprise but I got to know how baba is continuing me on the path to self love. He is teaching me to be fearless and self dependent. As I have made my loved ones my weakness from childhood. If this remains , how will I be able to reach him .. as he needs me with no baggages and no attachments.
The “new” me
I have let go people in past too but there was a different thing this time , I let go but I let all the good memories stay . Last time , I broke things and gifts of someone I cut off from my life and created some hatred for them . I found this now that it was necessary for the past me to do that as I felt weak to choose me without a certain amount of anger and hatred towards that person.
This time , I let my anger and hatred be directed towards those traits not that person. And play it cool . Its ok , I loved certain aspects of her and will keep them in my life , as she had been a part of who I am . She lead me towards more of “me”. There is no need of hatred and anger now . 🙂
We can remember them and not feel sad. Just let them go . Not everyone comes to stay .
These things tossed and turned inside my mind alot of days before they cleansed out.I thank the reiki sessions I took that made my vision clear that I am not falling in a pit but rising above . Trust me when I say , your mind finds a million ways to hate yourself and create guilt inside you . But , when you are aware its just repeating what it saw in past , you can realise there is no need for suffering anymore. You can choose to step over petals only .. leaving the thorns. You can choose to utilise this newly found energy in creating yourself instead of guilt.
I am feeling strong energies within me. I feel sad sometimes but I respect my emotions and feel sad till I find myself moving onto something else . I am not afraid of feeling sad . I am not wanting to feel more sad.
I am singing , laughing , recording reiki sessions , and you know what.. I am rising early .😃 Told you.. one step you take .. will lead you farther on this path .
Keep yourself in your safe space
When you feel , you are facing some thing that needs more time to be resolved , give yourself space and time . Be easy on yourself . You can avoid talking about that topic till you feel its not overwhelming . You can keep hatred if you want to, if that keeps you strong . You can rest and don’t need to see the world and scenario from my eyes . Be you till you feel its time to change yourself.
In frustration, its expected that you become angry on people who don’t deserve this kind of energy from you. So, if you feel like its getting too much , go in a shell and connect to yourself more and let your mind know “What is happening is best for us . And baba can never let happen anything bad. “
Also check out on your deep conceptions that its necessary for you to feel bad if someone is feeling bad with your decisions in your life. This concept believer .. my mind .. won’t allow me to stay in peace then . So , just put this as deeply inside your mind as you can ” Your happiness does not mean you are disrespecting their disappointments . Your happiness does not mean you are causing them harm by being happy. You being happy alone does not mean they should feel as good as you are. Just give space to yourself as well as others. Let them feel what they feel and let yourself be happy if you are feeling that.” 😇
Everything is connected
I became a part of good health related sessions and qi gong practice . I don’t know exactly if I will accept these practices like Reiki but yes this time in present, they are giving me pleasure and I am happy to spend time in them . Its on baba to decide if I shall keep at them or let go just like people. I know he knows best .😇
Qi gong is a mixture of some movement exercises , balance exercises and releasing the held up dense energies and meditation. I appreciate it as it involves everything. 😀
The moon ritual
I did moon release ritual . Released all the energies that are not needed anymore , on full moon , women’s day . It felt rejuvenating 😀
Nowadays diving in the melody “Kholo kholo darwaje” from Taree jameen par.
When it gets heavy .. I pray you recall and deeply feel these words :
“Kyu is kadar hairan tu , mausam ka hai mehman tu , dunia saje tere lie , khud ko zara pehchan tu. Tu dhoop hai .. cham se bikhar , tu hai nadi o bekhbar ” 😇
Om Sairam 😇
Great blog post! I love the emphasis on self-love and making choices that resonate with it. My question is, how do you suggest people overcome the fear of choosing themselves and prioritize their own needs without feeling guilty or selfish?
MR WAXIXE
https://www.primarytinting.net
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Thanks 🙂 . We can choose to love ourselves and also not let mind find a person to blame on . Mind creates either hatred for them as it blames them .. or guilt for us as it blames us. So, just keep reminding its ok to feel what you feel. Its ok to choose us as we are not saints yet..even saints choose themselves and go to hibernate in the training phase . Its absolutely alright to let go of people if you find you are not happy and not on the same level. I have been a people pleaser so it was very hard for me . But you can take help of meditation , reiki or any energy practices that change your thought process over time. 😀
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