Hey sai friends , I pray for your well being.
I have been to Shirdi and last 3 days were like awesomest days since I became a resident doctor.
It feels like heaven inspite of the temperature .. the crowd and every discomfort of travel.
I was with my junior there.
We had booked darshan and felt awesome when went to see my saviour ..my everything .. my Saaiyan 🥰
I was confused when tickets got confirmed. As I thought , I would not be going to Shirdi coz of long waiting list .
And so I did not prepare for a long journey.
But it so happened . He called and I had to go.😇🤗
We were 6 but only 2 tickets were confirmed(RAC). Even then 4 of us were planning to go on 2 tickets. But my friend and her mother could not board train . In fact she said , train went right in front of her eyes ..as she reached last minute. 😑
This event left us in sad mood. Her mother almost started crying .
Well , after a day or two everybody went to being normal. But it left a question in our mind .. why did this happen.
Still , we don’t know the answer but I know nothing in this world occurrs without reason. And Sai will never hurt anyone’s feelings..never ever.
An old lady
I saw during my darshan , a son was carrying his mother in a wheelchair . She was so excited to see baba in front of her eyes ..her eyes brimmed with tears.
I could feel what she was feeling. Her face , her eyes .. Sai love was overflowing from them.
I saw everyone and for a second I thought ..ohh baba what are you doing ..soon you will encapture the whole world with your magical captivating aura. How you run to your men just the second you are called. How you respond to the silliest questions of your devotees. How you are the unique most saint ..and how you transform your people from inside out. Ohh Saiii❣
While coming back , We had an old man with us in the coach . He sounded angry and rude . As he talked less ..ordered more ..like other people are his servants.
I was getting myself boiling up on his words. He scolded my junior when he asked to fold his middle seat .I did not want to hurt him ..but maybe that is the purpose of anger. I was planning my words when his wife scolded him for behaving rudely to a kid ( my junior) ..while he himself was lying comfortably ..and we were seating on a single seat , already tired .
So, I thought Sai helped me to let go of my anger. And I did. But I got confused with the question of “standing for self.”
If people like us can not stand for our rights then what will happen to the people who feel powerless .
Its not about anger and hurt.. its about using your angry words in the right place for a right person.
I am trying to change my over silent nature . I shall learn to speak out. May Sai teach me that. I am afraid to hurt someone in the process and also I don’t know when to opposse. What is the line of difference between self respect and ego.
But Shirdi had a cooling effect on me ..and I remained silent considering him like baba Sai.
People who say ..you have to stand for yourself are right ..but sai also taught me if we see our guru in everyone .. no one can torture us. They change their behaviour.
but until that happens .. you need not take in all the torture. Speak out the way you can.
Also we need not carry the injustice and grudges inside us. After all we are victim of victims. (Louise hay from book You Can Heal Yourself)
This sentence heals the wounds from my parents. 😇
When I entered pediatrics , I did not think that these kids will be the reason behind my survival. I am here ..healthy and sound ..laughing out and peaceful because of this gift from my baba sai. He gifted me this branch.
Expereince with kids
We were going to shani sighnapur and I had a seat to sit in. After sometime a lady entered with her child. I observed the kid and I felt like , I should take her in my lap as she was standing with her mom without a seat.
I always think of such random acts so much that I end up not doing them. This time I just appraoched that kid and took her in my arms . She did not resist ..and started playing with me after a few minutes. We laughed together and then her stop came and she waved me bye . 🙂 Although it seems like a little thing .. but don’t little things make us alive!
Next day , I encountered a girl child who was trapped in the train’s washroom. She did not know how to wash her hands and flush the toilet.. in reverse order ofcourse🤪 and was waiting for her mother ..who was for some reason out of my sight.
So, I helped her do the both things .And someone inside me said “Now you are ready to be a mother!”
That was huge I know but I have let go of the resistance of such big decisions as I am not rigid on anything now. I trust baba and he will decide what my future will be ! I am okay with everything.
Saimaa knows my heart . He knows what I can handle and what not . So let it be.
I now know a way to make children laugh and maybe feel safe. As a child I could not feel safe , I lived in fear .That can explain my over observant and sensitive and silent nature.I can not imagine any child to go through that.
I got my kick
This Shirdi visit showed me my (2nd) kick ..was kids and I have a purpose related to them .. that maybe soon Sai will show.
and first one is.. SAI , ofcourse😍🤩
In 2020 baba told me it will take 5 years..to know what I am gonna do. And now 3 years are left.In the meanwhile , baba is growing me into what I need to be.
My expereinces related to this trip are so many, that I have to write another post.
So, asking for leave now.goodbye.
om sairam 😇