SAI where are you ?

Writing at 6:40 am , after a hectic night duty . When OPD patients come during emergency , it irritates everyone alot . But , maybe its the price of being a doctor. Today my senior called as he sent a patient which developed adverse reaction after an IV antibiotic AST (sensitivity testing) . He sounded disappointed by the behaviour of patient’s parents . He was following up the child , but as soon as he developed reaction , parents behaved as if the doctor was the criminal , someone who knowingly did harm their child.

We cannot predict which child may be sensitive to which antibiotic , but we do know there are certain antibiotics which have a greater chance of reactions . That’s why we use AST ..the antibiotic is used in a small amount , and used in a safer route to see if some reaction occurrs. If still it does , that particular antibiotic group is not used in that child.

But , it doesn’t make the doctor a criminal. If you let your child eat or drink something that led to him/her falling ill , does that make you criminal ?


We act for the best of our patients , but we are not God .. far from perfect. Like you are not perfect at being a parent.

Inspite of our best efforts and intentions , child suffers and falls ill . Inspite of all that , my sister’s daughter expired . And don’t know how many children did.

I am not so proud in saying this but I really do feel this strongly nowadays “Don’t be a doctor!”

Again its about intention , I don’t want my loved ones to study so hard , so damn hard and get to a stage that even then you are nothing ..nothing at all !

If I would have spent these much years in meditation , maybe I might have reached somewhere safer or fearless state.

I am sad looking at the situations happening around us. I am sad that we blame others for the filth in our thinking. I am sad to see that how skillfully we lost the SAI in us and there is not even a single sign of grief in us .

I am sorry at the same time , that we don’t trust each other . I am sorry that the colour of our skin is what we daily try to improve. I am sorry that we feel low after having the highest of luxuries . I am sorry !

I want to say Sai is with us . But , I really doubt are we with him ?

Om sairam


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